My First

She was my first.

Sometimes on a hot July morning I’d take my little brother down to Jack’s Pond and we’d go for a swim. The summer heat would practically boil the top inches of water and when we jumped in we’d end up mixing the colder water at the bottom with the top layers that saw the sun and what you’d end up with was the perfect temperature for a Mississippi summer day.

Jack’s Pond was nestled within the bushes and trees of rural Crawford, you couldn’t even see it from the nearest path and the only open aspect of the area was the large open canopy which allowed the Summer sun through without obstruction. There was nothing else I wanted in the world when I sat floating on my back in Jack’s Pond….until I met Jenny.

I remember when I met Jenny; we were in the backyard of Roberts birthday party and our eyes met across the room, she quickly darted them away sheepishly and I walked over to introduce myself. I never understood how someone as shy as me got the courage to go talk to her, but something in me knew that this was the right thing to do.

Love is not a strong enough word for what Jenny and I had, I don’t even know if Love is the correct word now that I think of it. Everything about her was perfect to me; the way she smelled, her laugh, smile…the way she flicked her hair behind her ears. Sometimes I would just stare at her in class turning beat red when her blue eyes caught mine.

Sometimes you just know that the person you’ve met is going to spend the rest of your life with you and for my and Jenny I knew it was meant to be.

Our last year was upon us and being an 17 year old virgin there was only one thing on my mind after prom night and I knew Jenny would be the one to share my first time with.

When I brought Jenny to Jack’s Pond I was almost giddy at the idea of sharing my secret world with her and although it was moonlight that shone through the trees, tonight it was as still and as beautiful as ever. Everything was ready, I had brought candles, a blanket, some pillows, plastic wrap, various knives, duct tape and had it all ready by Jack’s Pond.

I dropped Jenny’s still drugged body beside the lake where my tools and plastic were and after stripping her naked I watched the life in her eyes listlessly give away as I drove my knife into her over and over again. I think I must have been crying through my smile because when I had taken out her pieces I noticed some water dripping from my face and mixing with the dried blood over her open stomach.

I finished removing the pieces I wanted to try eating and we made love under the moonlight.

I will never forget that night and I will never forget Jenny or the way she tasted. There is a special place inside all of us that never forgets the first person that truly made us feel like who we are. Relationships that better us, make us feel open and honest, not ashamed of who we are. It’s truly human.

She was my first…but not my last.